The Night I Proposed


Christian | Married | Entrepreneur


I stood there alone waiting for her to return. Heart racing, adrenaline pumping, hands shaking, and mind going blank. This was it, this was the moment that I had been preparing for. This was evening that I was going to ask my girlfriend to spend the rest of my life with me. While trying to remember my prepared speech, not stumble over my words, and not come across as a bumbling idiot, I was wondering if she would cry? Was she going to be surprised? And most importantly, would she say yes? This single moment was the culmination of months of planning, preparing, plotting, and praying. This was the moment that would change the course of my life forever….

Almost exactly twelve months prior to that night, I made the decision to permanently take myself off of the market. Forever. There was no party, no ceremony, no photographer – there…

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Cocktail for Change

Cocktail for Change


That dawning moment where you hear God say I want to bless you. In order to bless you I have to change you. You only hear this in your quiet moments. You hear this in your moments of reflection when you realize that you have changed, but you hit a plateau in your change. Plateaus mean that it is time to change again. You have to do something else. You have to create YOUR own cocktail for change. You want to stop smoking? You want to stop drinking? You want to be in Love? You want to lose weight? You want to be the best in your career field? Then you have to do some serious self discovery and do inventory on yourself. Real change is hard and it is difficult, but no one ever promised you that it wouldn’t be, but the promise that you have to hold on to is that it is possible. Anything is possible. You can see that by the numerous stories in the bible that resulted in life altering blessings that changed the entire world. Surely, if God can speak the world into existence and Jesus can feed thousands with bread and fish, then God can be your main agent in your change.


I can’t tell you what your cocktail for change will be, but I can share mine. Your cocktail will stem from your strengths and your talents. They will channel into your weaknesses to change them into strengths. In order to discover YOUR Cocktail for Change you have to conduct a serious self inventory. You have to stare at the most painful places in your life, you have to stare at the things that you hate most about yourself, and you have to challenge them head on. No one can ask anyone else about you but YOU. You are the greatest source of information about you. People can help you discover things about yourself that you didn’t know were there, but it is ultimately you that lives with you 24 hours a day, 365 days a year and if you don’t know you (all the in’s, outs, good, bad, and ugly of yourself) then you leave yourself to the scrutiny of others and their opinions will lead your change. The thoughts of others should not lead your change, but your desire and passion to change those things that you discovered about yourself that you don’t like should lead it. For me I have a safe circle. I have a circle of people that I trust to tell me the truth about what they witness in me. You can’t trust everyone to tell you the truth about you because sometimes it can be manipulated to encourage a change in you that only benefits them.


***Pause. Side Note: When you are in the motions of doing God’s will such as me sharing this message with you, God will respond with the change that he is assisting with to bless you. Someone saw my save the dates for Graduation and would like me to create some thank you post cards for them and their question? How much would you charge for that? The more I step into my talents the more I should prepare for that question and so should you. Your talent will be your bread and butter**


Back to your cocktail for change: Get you a circle of safe people. People that know that you are trying to be different, that know you want to change, and encourages it for YOUR sake and not their own. I developed a strong passion for this. I am so passionate about creating a different life for myself, my son, my future husband, my future family, and hopefully future dog (lolJ) that I constantly tear myself apart. I am not hard on myself, but I do check myself when I see that my life is not producing the change that I want to see. My next ingredient is that I have the desire to please God. If I do nothing else with my life and my father tells me well done today then that is all that matters to me. I don’t care about who has what to say after I’m out of this life physically. I don’t care what anyone has to say while I’m still here, but there have been so many times where I made the free will decision to change according to the will God has for my life and I get that confirmation of well done. It has been my truth that the fruits of my labor have been plentiful. What type of fruit are you producing? That will tell you if you have created the right cocktail for you. You won’t get this thing right the first time. It takes time to become a Changeologist. It takes time to learn what ingredients work for you, and once you master it then it’s onto a new cocktail for a new change. There is so much more to this, but you’ll have to prepare to get that out of my book Spiritual Insomnia. Stay tuned and happy changing….


Love Adelia A. Johnson

Happy New Year?

There are some people that the New Year didn’t start out so good for. There are some people who could care less that a new year even approached and new chances and opportunities have presented itself. Some of us celebrated God transitioning us into a brand new year. We rejoiced because we made it. We rejoiced because we endured another tumultuous year for some, and a great year for others. Some prayed for a continuance of that grace over their current 2014 year, but while we were praying for our own redemption, our own resolutions, our own year for God to do a great thing there were some where the clock struck 12am and their lives became more hell. Someone was molesting them at 11:49 and well it didn’t matter that it turned 12am on January 1, 2014. They are still in the same hell they were in. Pray for THEM. There were some people that went into 2014 high on substances that only numb their pain and their issues. Well they could care less 2014 would come because they only have just enough faith not to commit suicide, but are in hopes that their drugs will do the trick for them. Indirect suicide if you will. Pray for THEM. There are marriages that transitioned into 2014 with the same problems that were masked with the New Year’s celebrations and alcohol. They argued or exuded hate towards one another on the way home in the car. Their words were poison to one another and they cursed each other’s New Year with more mess that they will have to either dig themselves out of or continue to get buried alive in. Pray for THEM. There are some that went into the New Year failing to even realize that God is still present in their lives. After all, he has been silent; it appears, for so long. They didn’t care that a New Year had approached. They had no friends, family, or a person in the world that called to even wish them a Happy New Year.  Pray for THEM. There are some that have accomplished so much over the course of the year and when they tried to get excited about the New Year anxiety hit them. They became nervous because no one cared that they got straight A’s all year. No one called to check in on them for the past month. No one even knew that they got saved at church. You can do well, but if you’re in an environment where no one notices then you start to question your own existence (it doesn’t matter how many degrees, 4.0’s, or money you have). I see this with adolescents all day. Pray for THEM. My prayer is for all those people in the world that didn’t feel a New Year covering. My prayer is for all those that faked through their New Year’s covering. My prayer is for all those that don’t even know they have a New Year covering. I celebrated for you. I prayed for you. I asked God to bring you out of those dark places and do a miraculous work for you beyond your comprehension. I asked God to cover every marriage in peace and harmony and allow them to work FOR his kingdom and not against it. I asked that every bitter heart allows Love to penetrate their pores and allow God to do a great thing. If you were so blessed to bring in the New Year where you could acknowledge your own blessings, please take the time to pray some for someone else in need. You are in abundance and God didn’t give you all you have to keep it to yourself. In Love with God. In Love with change. In Love with your progress. In Love with your growth. In Love with YOU (be it homeless, crackhead, alcoholic, WHATEVER the devil got you thinking you are). You are what YOU say you are and I wish for you to touch and agree.


Rooting for you. Love Adelia.

When is TOO Blessed TOO Blessed

There is a bit of frustration with people that approach others with this, “You’re too blessed,” mentality. The people that know your situation, that know you’re struggling financially, the ones that know you’re driving a nice car, the ones that know you are staying in a nice neighborhood, but they don’t expect you to afford any of it. This isn’t about material things, but it’s about how God meets your everyday needs without you even deserving them, and people accuse your situation of being anything other than what God has done.

Example: Oh I thought you were balling. Oh I thought you were making more than that. Oh I thought you had some money put up. Oh well I just didn’t see how you could afford that. Oh well I thought things were better than that. Oh I thought since you had a degree you were good. Oh I thought, I thought, I thought, well you thought wrong. 

Don’t let anyone’s accusatory thoughts make you feel bad about being blessed. If people worried about their own grass vs. why yours is green then perhaps they can reap the same benefits. The complexity of God extends beyond our comprehension, but what I do know is what anyone ‘thinks’ of your situation doesn’t matter. God sees the hard work that goes into pleasing him and he is the greatest rewarder. No man can bless you the way God can for your efforts to operate in his will. Keep claiming your blessings and don’t worry about what the world has to say about it. The world gives you things and take them away (Look at Lance Armstrong), but God gives you what you are undeserving of and only you can give it away by entertaining the critics. Keep being blessed and remember there is NO such thing as being TOO blessed♥

A Love Letter

Since Day one you have shown kindness and care. You have handled me very delicately and have taken my emotions into consideration in every situation. There hasn’t been a bill you haven’t paid, or a time that you didn’t make something happen when it looked impossible. There have even been times that I felt undeserving of you. There have been times that you have protected me from unforeseen dangers and provided for me through my irresponsible decision making. You still loved me unconditionally. 

There was a separation period where I disowned you. Where I didn’t utter you name. It wasn’t because you did anything wrong, it was because I found the grass was greener on the other side, but only to find out that I haven’t been watering my own grass. My grass was fine if i only took care of it. Even when I came back with my tail tucked between my legs and my head down you looked me in my eyes and told me how beautiful I was. You told me how worthy I was, and despite the pain of me separating myself you never left me. You showed me how to really Love. You showed me that despite how bad someone messes up forgiveness is the greatest give anyone can have. You still protected me. You still provided for me. You still whispered quietly in my ear at night of a beautiful future and only I could keep me from it. 

People look at me now, they stare at me and many try to take me away from you, but I stand firm. I stand on the fact that no one can love me like you. Only you can spoil me the way that you do. Only you can provide the way that you do. Only you can allow me the riches that I have been showered with. It’s only by your Love, your evasiveness, your care and concern that I am able to live and see the beauty around me. It’s amazing how two people can look at the same thing and get two different interpretations. When I look at a brick wall where a rose grows in front of it out of the concrete I see beauty. I see your Love. I see the rose growing beyond it’s restrictions and blooming anyway, while others may see a brick wall and feel the need to step on the flower because it doesn’t belong. It’s your love that allows me to Love others. It’s your Love that makes me zone out and put a slight smile on my face knowing you haven’t left me although I know I’ve deserved it so many times. 

God this is my Love letter to you because no one can love me like you do, but when you allow someone to Love me you’ll be the guide they look to♥

Are You Mad Enough to Do Something?

This morning I must admit that this post is coming out of anger. It’s not coming out of anger towards anyone, but I must admit that I am .38 hot at the devil right now and how he is using people. Why? Because:

1. I am tired of people that try to point out every flaw, every blemish, and every wrong that has been made by someone else. I mean they persecute people that have flawed pasts and it’s like they haven’t even considered their own pasts. Uhhh….thank God that he doesn’t look at our past and decide to point out every mistake that we have made and then turns his back on us.

2. All this talking about people and not knowing their story or how far they have come.  Judging someone’s spiritual walk. That persons walk is their walk! It is not our place to judge. Just because someone may not be where WE think they should be does not say how far they have come in their walk with God. Okay, so there’s a woman at work that sleeps with all the men. How is that your business!? Perhaps, if you knew 10 years ago God brought her out of molestation, drug abuse, kept her free after murdering her abuser, and spared her from being murdered herself when the gun jammed then perhaps her promiscuity would look different to you OR it could not. You could probably talk about that too.

3. It is our duty to protect each other as believers. Jesus sent the disciples out 2×2. God says where 2 or more are gathered in his name there too shall he be. We are to be each others look outs. Why do you think married people are supposed to move as 1 unit? Why do you think that when we witness we are to witness 2×2? If you don’t feel some kind of way when someone you know is trying to live for God is being persecuted then perhaps you should get just a little upset. There is nothing like having someone watch your back.

4. Kill the fakeness. It’s more respectful to tell someone that you don’t care for them, than for you to drag them along and live a lie. What a man thinks in his heart that which he is. So if you are ACTING like you care for someone, but in your mind you could have two s#*@’s then it will manifest. You can’t fake loyalty.

I could go on, but my bottom line: Don’t drag people into your messy world. If you can’t see people for their hearts and what they are trying to do right it is not your place to judge that. Just remember all that pressure you put on someone for not ‘having it together’ when you don’t even know how to put things too gether (I hope you got that.) Have a blessed day and get mad enough to look out for your partners in Christ.